From:      Kathryn E. Kuhn
Date:       September 8, 1998
Subject:   Confessions of a Lamaze Class Truant

First, I'm in my last stages of doctor's appointments, which means I have one appointment in 2 weeks and then I start going every week to check on the baby.  All signs are still strong and healthy (gained another 3 pounds, all measurements are completely normal).  We speculated that the baby is positioned head first but will be able to say so with greater confidence at my next appointment. I'm just REALLY ready to have this baby.

Now I have a confession to make.  Lamaze class is really boring and just not my cup-of-tea (to say the least).  We've actually started to blow off a few classes lately.  I figured, what can they do - fail me?  If I fail Lamaze class, does that mean I can't have the baby?  Do I have to re-take the class again next semester? Does it go on my permanent record? Not likely scenarios

It doesn't help to be surround by perky first-time parents (yes, we're first time parents, but far too jaded to fit the description of "perky").  One couple squinches up their faces at the site of ANYTHING medical (aka. the 'stinky" face).  Several couples are so nervous that the wife perpetually asks "So is THIS the point where I get an epidural?". These are not people that Doug and I are going to bond with.

It also doesn't help that the point of the classes is to teach you to (a) deal with pain and (b) review everything that could go WRONG in childbirth to make sure you're prepared.  Take the first point: dealing with pain.  Given that I play HOCKEY and after getting my broken ankle set without any drugs whatsoever, I would consider myself fairly accomplished at dealing with pain.  Besides, NOTHING could ever prepare a person for 14 hours of hard labor - I don't care how many times I practice my "cleansing breathe".

As for what could go wrong, THAT'S WHY I'M HAVING THE BABY AT STANFORD HOSPITAL WITH A ROOM FULL OF DOCTORS!!!  The staff there is excellent and explains everything as it is happening anyway.  Besides, there is nothing I can DO if something goes wrong (except lay there and be upset).  So I guess I'll just have to trust my doctor and the medical staff who have delivered several THOUSAND babies to know what to do at the proper moment. 

I could suffer worse fates.